FIREARMS

Of all the weapons discussed in this blog, nothing is more important
than your primary firearm. Keep it cleaned, keep it oiled, keep it
loaded, keep it close. With a cool bead, steady band, and plenty of
ammunition, one human is more than a match for an army of zombies.
Choosing a fuearm must be an exact science, with every variable
considered. What is your primary goal: defense, attack, or flight? What
outbreak class are you facing? How many people, if any, are in your
group? What environment is your battleground? Different firearms
serve different functions. Almost none serve all. Selecting the perfect
tools means dispelling conventional doctrines of warfare that have
worked so well against our fellow humans. Sadly, we know all too well
how to kill each other. Killing zombies-that's another story.

1. THE HEAVY MACHINE GUN
Since World War I, this invention has revolutionized human conflict.
Its mechanism allows a storm of lead to be discharged in seconds.
These tactics may be invaluable on the human battlefield but are a
feckless waste against the living dead. Remember, yon are going for a
head shot: one bullet, precisely placed. As the machine gun is designed
for saturation fire, it may take hundreds, even thousands of rounds for
one, randomly lethal shot. Even aiming the machine gun as a rifle (a
tactic nsed by U.S. special forces) is a losing proposition. Why hit a
zombie with a well-aimed five-round burst when one well-aimed rifle
shot produces the same result? In the 1970% one school of thought
favored the "scythe theory": If a machine gun is placed at the head
level of an undead crowd, it could mow them down with one long
burst. This argument has been debunked-ghouls, like the humans
they nsed to be, are not all the same height. Even if some are destroyed,
at least half will survive to close on your position. But what about the
massive body damage caused by these weapons? Won't a machine gun
have enough punch to rip a body in half, and doesn't that negate the
need for a head shot? Yes and no. The standard 5.56-millimeter round
used by the U.S. Army SAW (Squad Automatic Weapon) does have the
ability to snap a human spine, sever limbs, or yes, tear a zombie's form
in two. This, however, does not mean a head shot is unnecessary. For
one, the chance of dismembering a zombie is slight and therefore
requires large amounts of ammunition. For another, unless the brain is
destroyed, the zombie itself is still alive-crippled, yes, perhaps even
immobile, but still alive. Why give yourself the umecessary need of
having to finish off a mass of writhing and potentially dangerous body
parts?

2. THE SUBMACHINGEUN
The problem presented by this weapon is similar to that of the heavy
machine gun: ammo expended versus living dead dispatched.
However, when fighting in tight quarters, the submachine gun finds its
niche. The short barrel makes it easier to handle than a rifle, but the
folding stock gives it much more support than a pistol. Always be sure
to keep it on the single-shot setting. As we discussed, full auto is simply
a waste of ammo. Also, be sure to aim it from the shoulder.
Shooting from the hip will produce nothing more than a loud noise and
a clean miss. One disadvantage is poor accuracy at long range.
Because the submachine gun was designed as a close-combat weapon,
you will have to get much closer to a zombie than if you were carrying
a rifle or assault weapon. This would normally not be a problem
except that submachine guns, like all auto and semiautomatic
weapons, have the possibility of jamming while in use. At short range,
I you may be putting yourself at unnecessary risk. This is the only reason
to discount a submachine gun as your primary weapon.

3. THE ASSAULT RIFLE
 This weapon was invented originally to bridge the gap between the
I rifle and submachine gun, offering both range and rapid fre. Wouldn't
these traits make it ideal against the undead? Not really. Although
range and accuracy are needed, rapid tire, as we've seen, is not. Even
though an assault rifle can be set for semiautomatic, just like a submachine
gun, the temptation to go full auto still exists, as it does with
a submachine gun. When fighting for your life, it may simply be too
! easy to flip the switch to "rock 'n' roll," no matter how wasteful and
useless this might be. If you do choose an assault rifle as your primaq
weapon, keep in mind the basic questions that apply to all firearms:
I What is its range? What is its accuracy? Is the appropriate ammunition
I readily available? How easy is it to clean and maintain?
To answer some of these questions, it is best to examine two
extreme examples. The U.S. Army M16Al is considered by many to
be the worst assault rifle ever invented. Its overcomplicated mecha44
nism is both difficult to clean and prone to jamming. Adjusting the
sight, something that must be done eveIy time a target shifts its range,
requires the use of a nail, ballpoint pen, or similar device. What if you
didn't have one, or lost it as several dozen zombies shambled steadily
toward you? The delicate plastic stock of the M16A1 obviates bayonet
use, and by attempting to use it as such you would risk shattering
the hollow, spring-loaded stock. This is a critical flaw. If you were confronted
by multiple ghouls and your Al jammed, you would be unable
to use it as a last-ditch hand-to-hand weapon. In the 1960s, the MI6
(originally the AR-15) was designed for Air Force base security. For
political reasons typical of the militiuy-industrial complex (you buy
my weapon, you get my vote and my campaign contribution), it was
adopted as the principal infantry weapon for the U.S. Army. So poor
was its early battle record that during the Vietnam War, communist
guerrillas refused to take them from dead Americans. The newer
M16A2, although somewhat of an improvement, is still regarded as a
second-class weapon. If given the choice, emulate the Vietcong and
ignore the M16 entirely.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, the Soviet AK-47 is considered
the best assault rifle ever made. Although heavier than the M16
(10.58 pounds versus 7 pounds) and possessing a considerably harder
kick, this weapon is famous for its rugged efficiency and sturdy construction.
Its wide, spacious firing mechanism prevents jamming from
di or sand. In hand-to-hand combat, you could either stab a zombie
through the eye socket with the weapon's bayonet or use the solid,
steel-backed wooden stock to smash through a zombie's skull. If imiThe
Zombie Survival Guide 45
tation is the sincerest form of flattery, then several nations have chosen
to flatter the AK with either direct copies (Chinese Type 56) or
modified designs (Israeli Galil). Again, although the assault rifle is not
ideal for defense against the living dead, a member of the AK-47 family
will be your best bet.

4. THE BOLT-/LEVER-ACTION RIFLE
A product of the mid-nineteenth century, these weapons are often
regarded as obsolete. Why use a hunting rifle when you can own a submachine
gun? Such arrogance is simply unfounded, its roots based in
techno-chauvinism and the absence of practical experience. A wellmade,
expertly used bolt- or lever-action rifle offers a defense against
the living dead that is as good if not better than the latest military hardware.
A rifle's single-shot capability forces the user to make each
round count, increasing the chance of a hit. This feature also eliminates
even the possibility of "rock 'n' rolling," and therefore preserving
ammunition whether the user intends to or not. A third reason is the
relative easiness to clean and operate a rifle, something that must not
be overlooked. Hunting rifles are designed for a civilian market.
Manufacturers know that if they are too complex, sales will plummet.
A fourtb and final reason is ready availability of ammunition. As there
are more civilian gun shops than military armories in the United States
(a pattern not shared by the rest of the world), yon will find it easier to
obtain ammunition for a hunting rifle than an assault weapon or submachine
gun. This will prove critical in any of the scenarios covered
in the latter part of this manual.
When choosing a bolt- or lever-action rifle, try to find an older, military
version if possible. This does not mean that civilian models are
inferior weapons-quite the opposite-but almost all military boltaction
rifles were designed for use in hand-to-hand combat. Make sure
you take the time to study the use of a rifle for this purpose. Simply
swinging it like a club would destroy any weapon, military and civilian
alike. Manuals are available that explain how to use a rifle as a
bludgeon. Even old war films can demonstrate how deadly these
weapons are without firing a shot. Examples of bolt-action military
rifles are the U.S. Springfield, the British Lee Enfield, and the German
Mauser Kar 98k. Many of these still exist, some in good working
order. Before choosing, however, make sure the appropriate ammunition
is in ready supply. Having an impressive, bolt-action military rifle
will do no good if the only rounds available fit civilian models.

5. THE SEMIAUTOMATIC RIFLE
Since its debut, this weapon has shown itself to be a superior zombie
killer. Given the possibility of wasting ammunition (a round is
expended every time the trigger is pulled), a fair amount of discipline
is required. However, this option can be a blessing when engaging
multiple targets. In one recorded instance, a trapped woman dispatched
fifteen attacking zombies in twelve seconds! (See "1947 A.D., Jarvie,
British Columbia," pages 223-24.) This story illustrates the potential
of a semiautomatic rifle. For close combat or for people on the run, the
semiautomatic carbine serves the same function as the larger model.
Although possessing half the range, the carbine tends to be lighter and
easier to c q , and uses smaller ammunition. Either type will serve
you well, depending on the situation. When choosing a semiautomatic
weapon, the World War I1 M1 Garand or M1 Carbine are, in many
ways, superior to contemporary weapons. This may be surprising, but
these older military weapons were designed to survive the greatest
conflict in history. Not only did they meet this task admirably, but the
Garand remained the U.S. Army's main rifle through the Korean conflict,
while the Carbine saw action up until the first years of Vietnam.
Another advantage of the M1 Garand is its secondary role as a handto-
hand weapon (in WWII, bayonet use was still considered a vital part
of combat). Although no longer in production, many Garands still
remain on the market with ammunition widely available. The h41
Carbine is, amazingly, still in production. Its light weight and short
muzzle perfectly suit this weapon to indoor combat or long journeys
on foot. Other, more modem choices include the Ruger Mini-30,
Ruger Mini-14, and the Chinese Type 56 (a copy of the Soviet SKS
The Zombie Survival Guide 47
carbine, not to be confused with the assault rifle of the same name). If
discipline can be maintained, you will not find a better weapon than
the semiautomatic rifle.

6. THE SHOTGUN
At close range against human attackers, this weapon reigns supreme.
Against the living dead, this is not entirely true. A good twelve-gauge
shotgun can literally blow a zombie's head off. However, the longer
the range, the greater the pellet dispersal pattern, and the lesser chance
of skull penetration. A solid slug would have the same effect as a rifle,
even at greater range (provided the barrel is long enough), but in that
case, why not just use a rifle? What shotguns do possess is stopping
power. The scattering shot acts as a solid wall, whereas a rifle bullet
might pass clean through or miss the target altogether. If you are cornered,
or on the run, and need time to escape, a good shotgun blast can
send several zombies sprawling. The downside of a shotgun is that the
large, twelve-gauge shells are bulky and therefore burdensome when ~ ~
traveling and leave less room for other equipment. This must be considered
if a long journey is required.

7. THE PISTOL
Americans have a special relationship with handguns. They seem to
appear in every movie, every TV show, every pop novel, every comic
book. Our heroes have always carried them, from the Old West lawman
to the gritty urban cop. Gangsters rap about them; liberals and
conservatives fight over them. Parents shelter children from them and
manufacturers make untold fortunes from them. Possibly more than
the automobile, the handgun is synonymous with America. But how
useful is this cultural icon against a swarm of newly risen flesh-eaters?
In truth, not very. Unlike our fictional heroes, the average person may
have difficulty hitting anything, let alone something as small and
mobile as a zombie's head. Throw in the obvious emotional strain of
undead combat, and the possibility of a successful shot ranks one step
above negotiating with your attacker. Studies have shown that of all
wasted ballistic wounds-e.g., those that struck a zombie in a nonlethal
way-73 percent came from some type of handgun. A laser sight
increases the odds of accurate aim hut does nothing to steady a shaky
wrist. Where handguns do come in handy is in extreme circumstances.
If yon are grabbed by a zombie, a pistol can be a life-saver. Pressing
its muzzle against the undead temple and squeezing the trigger takes
no skill and ensures a positive kill. The fact that handguns are small,
light, and easy to cany make them attractive as a secondary weapon
for any scenario. If your primary weapon is a carbine, this adds the
possibility of shared ammo and lighter load. For these reasons, a pistol
should always be carried when confronting ghouls, but as a backup
only. Never forget that many dismembered, half-eaten corpses have
been discovered with these wonder weapons still clutched in their cold,
dead hands.

8. .22-CALIBERRIM FIRE WEAPONS
These weapons (rifle or pistol) fire a round no wider than a few millimeters
and no longer than an inch. In normal circumstances it is usnally
relegated to practice, competition, or the hunting of small game.
In an attack by the undead, however, the diminutive .22 rimfire stands
proudly alongside its heavier cousins. The small size of its rounds
allows you to cany three times as much ammunition. This also makes
the weapon itself lighter, a godsend on long treks through ghoulinfested
territory. The ammunition is also easy to manufacture and
plentiful throughout the country. No shop that sells any kind of ammunition
would fail to stock .22 rimfire. 'ho disadvantages present themselves,
however, when the use of a .22 is considered. The small round
has zero stopping power. People (including former President Reagan)
have been shot with .22s and not even realized it until later. A ghoul ~ taking a round to the chest would not even he slowed, let alone
i stopped, by this puny projectile. Another problem is the lack of skull
penetration at longer ranges. With a .22, you might have to get a little
too close for comfort, a fact that could increase stress and degrade the
odds of a kill. By the same token, the lack of power in a round fired
by a .22 has been called a blessing in disguise. Without the force to
punch through the back of a zombie's skull, .22 bullets have been
known to ricochet inside the brain case, doing as much damage as any
.45. So when it comes time to arm yourself against a looming zombie
menace, do not discount the small, almost toylike nature of this nimble,
efficient fireann.